Not your typical DIY, but listen, we could all use a little more love in our lives. Just like parrots.
Not all relationships last forever, but one thing I know is, if a guy writes me a love letter, even if we split, I keep that shit. Why? Because that letter’s about me. It’s an ego boost to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you, even if that person don’t love you no more.
But how to start? I’ll admit, it’s not easy. I personally have trouble being sincere – if I let my worst impulses run rampant, all of my love letters/emails/texts would begin, “Dear Shnooky-wookums, fire that warms my heart….” or some such gahbage. So here are some, not really formulas, more like jumping off points.
- Compare your dearheart to one of the seasons, or some other aspect of mother nature. Spring and summer are easy pickin’s, so why not try winter? Isn’t their rich chestnut hair as enticing as a cup of hot chocolate? Doesn’t seeing them feel as invigorating as stepping outside and getting a lungful of sharp cold clean air? Don’t you pray for winter to get here faster so you have an excuse to snuggle together for warmth? Etcetera. Or, pick a tree, an island, a pineapple, a caterpillar – whatever, just make it flattering.
- Close your eyes, and call up on image of your baby-cakes. Now write down what you see, beginning each sentence with, “I love your…” This one is simple, but effective, and here’s why; when you look at your boy- or girl-hunny with the eyes of love, you see an idealized glowing version of them that they probably don’t see when they look in the mirror. Try and make them see it.
- Describe that first date/phone call/time that you saw them. Use sensory details, recall the moment that was particularly amazing, that funny thing that they said, and say why the entire experience changed your life forever.
- Make a list of all the times you’ve touched. Like, Number 1: your upper arm pressed into mine when we took the streetcar to brunch on our first date. Number 2: my hand grabbed your shoulder to keep you from crossing the street without looking, because you were laughing so hard at something I’d said.
- Steal. Steal hard and unabashedly, and don’t even bother hiding it. For about a year my partner-in-crime-for-life quoted this Sunset Rubdown line to me when we’d sign off on the phone, and I loved it and it always made me feel fuzzy and loved. Eventually I heard the line in the song and recognized it. Was I mad? No. He’d chosen it to say to me, I loved it, and luckily for him it was a good song, too. Now whenever I listen to it, it brings back that crazy first year. The point is, other people’s words, curated for your sweetums, can have a big impact. Take this little gem from Sappho:
You came when I was longing for you,
and to my soul, burning in passion’s fire,
you were delicious ice.
Daaaaamn! If someone put that on a card and gave it to me I would be melted all over the dang floor. There’s a ton of killer love poetry, prose, and song lyrics out there. Maybe you wanna tell your cupcake that “I got a woman so fine that I gotta have it like a rabbit almost all of the time.” Thanks Blakroc, that’s actually super romantic!
In the end, it is a love letter, and it will be received with love. Ideally – don’t write a letter to your roommates girlfriend or that former professor of yours that you’re stalking. It’s a grand gesture, highly romantic, and will be kept forever in a shoebox with a construction paper heart on the top. Guaranteed.